I used to think if I just worked harder, I’d finally succeed. Better grades, longer hours, more effort…
At school, I thought success came from outside: from a teacher’s grade, from my boss’s approval, from society’s checklist. Maybe you did too?
At the female entrepreneur summit this week, the motto was simple but powerful: success comes from within you. It reminded me of how long I lived in victim mode, blaming teachers, circumstances, or the world for my results
The Road We Were Given
Growing up, we were handed a map, a version of success drawn by others.
We heard “work hard in school.” “Just try harder” when something wasn’t working.
The way school is structured we all fell into the victim mode of “the teacher is deciding over my grades = life’s possibilities.”
Of course, there’s some form of accountability by studying for exams, but every teacher grades differently.
A French teacher I had for a year said, “I’m not giving grades better than a C.”
How’s that fair to compare it then to other schools (or teachers within this school)?
And the same happens at work and with goals. Most of your life’s road is given to you at birth by where you grow up, how your parents raise you, what they’re interested in, and with whom you spend time.
Most people remain stuck in victim mode their entire lives. They never take responsibility to improve their lives. Instead, they follow what everyone else is doing and listen to what authority figures tell them.
They’re trapped in waiting mode. Waiting for others to decide their worth and what to do next.
Because they never learned any other way. Because school doesn’t teach us anything about mindset, goal-setting, or personal development. The goal of school is to get good workers for the companies.
Nothing about independent thinking, mindset, health, traumas, finding your purpose, or personal development.
External Blame
The victim mode “That’s just how life is” isn’t working. It’s not making you happy or successful. You are dependent on the opinion of others.
Do they sound familiar?
“I was just raised like this.”
“Living life is so expensive.”
“The politicians are taxing us too much. There’s not much left for me to live.”
“I have to…”
“That’s just how my boss is. I can’t afford to leave this place.”
“I need my job to afford my house, kids’ schools, and my car.”
“I just have to work harder to get the promotion.”
“Many men die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.”
Benjamin Franklin
People stuck in the victim mode are playing the game of life passively. They do the same thing over and over again after they find their first job until they are buried. Or the best outcome is that they retire at 65 and suddenly wake up in an unhealthy body, trying to “live”.
This isn’t living.
Happiness and success don’t come from cars, money, or status. That’s just what the ads tell you to feel a little bit of joy for 3 seconds.
Happiness and success come from within you…
…and not from a fancy car you buy.
People with a lot of things aren’t happy.
People with high-paying jobs aren’t happy
IF their inside is empty.
Some studies show that some amount of money increases happiness, especially when you’re poor and can barely meet human needs. But for the upper middle class, more money doesn’t make much of a difference anymore.
Their basic needs are met, and having more money to buy nicer things isn’t making anyone happy. Because money can’t buy:
purpose
love
trust
another body
Follow your inner compass
Your intuition, heart, soul (whatever you believe in) needs to guide you. You need to trust yourself.
Everyone has an inner compass knowing what your purpose is and how to get there. Some call it intuition or soul. I like to call it inner compass to guide you like a ship in the big sea of life.
But this compass is buried underneath limiting beliefs, negative experiences and blocked connections to your body.
The first step is get a shovel and trust that underneath is a compass that knows you 100% and is here to guide you.
By letting go of limiting beliefs you’ll find your real purpose again, not just some road you “should take”.
I want you to question every belief that comes to mind.
“I’m not good enough” → “Why can’t I do everything?”
“I can’t afford that” → “How can I afford that?”
“I don’t have time” → “How can I prioritize what matters to me?”
If you follow your inner compass, you’ll find true success because it comes from within.
You’ll have endless motivation.
You’ll play the infinite, long game. You won’t quit when it gets tough.
Because your purpose will guide you and give you internal motivation.
In my free masterclass, I guide you step by step to uncover that inner compass so you stop waiting for external validation.
Your Power Action Step Today
Meditate today for at least 5 minutes to calm you down and to find a connection to your body.
And ask yourself:
What’s keeping me from my success?
Notice how the answer isn’t external. If it is, then you’re still in victim mode and you need to find out why you’re blaming the external, and how you can change your circumstances.
Find a different perspective.
If you can’t, describe the problem to ChatGPT and let it show you.
Last hours till my masterclass “Boundaries and Recovery”
At 7 pm CEST live and if you can’t join, there’s gonna be a replay and worksheet.
For the Quietly Curious
After years of volunteering at a student NGO I’m still burning for it but I have less time now with my full-time job and business. I would love to do everything!
I’m not a pro at networking yet. I still feel uncomfortable around people that look and sound wiser. Then I remember Gary Vee saying, “don’t compare yourself to them. Focus on you and you’re your confident self”
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Wish you all the best,
Karina
